You’d think that if you made a particular mistake before, you’d not repeat it, right? Especially when you felt the consequences, the bodily effects, the mental challenge, the emotional toll, and the dreadful days after.
If you went through it once, it is understandable, to a certain limit, that the mistake happens again. You are only human after all. And, in time you may have forgotten how bad the experience was because time tends to erase the sharpest edges of bad memories. Like the song goes “memories, sweeten through the ages just like wine.”
Let’s not forget temptation because what if now you are convinced you can handle it better? You learned your lesson, you are now stronger, wiser, more experienced? So you may try again not anticipating that in fact, the consequences are worse than before. You may feel you are strong to challenge the odds but time may not have made you wiser.
Stubborn as you are, you did pick up the remote again and watched Captain America till after midnight. And as a result of the action you could not sleep again, reading didn’t get you drowsy even though you tried till past 2am, and desperate for sleep, turned off the lights, cursed at the moon, promising your aching brain you will never do this again. But first I need to finish watching Cap’s trilogy.